On the wrong track

This morning we came in on track 12, which is really for NJTransit and AMTRAK, so we had to walk for several minutes to cram on to one escalator. In the meantime, a train from NJ arrived on track 11, to join the fun. Since the morning was already off to a bad start, I made a decision that almost always works our poorly - taking the downtown A train. I got a nice seat where I could watch three downtown E's come and go across the track, along with two uptown A's. Finally my train came, and I was only 7 minutes late getting to the office.

New York is Number One! (in ADA noncompliance)

New Yorkers are urged constantly to take mass transit. Unfortunately, if they are in a wheelchair chances are about four to one that subway rides are out of the question. Since the Americans with Disabilities Act has a rule that subway stations built before 1990 are exempt from the law unless they have a major renovation. So all those years under Giuliani and Bloomberg they had a simple solution - don't make major renovations. In the meantime, Boston made a long-term commitment to upgrading accessibility. About half of Chicago's subway stations have escalators and/or elevators. New York is holding down the rear. In the meantime, Bloomberg has been patting himself on the back for the great job he has done for New Yorkers. All of this just confirms my suspicion that this is a city with no real vision.

Subway ride of the Damned

Got into Penn Station late today due to a dental appointment. Bought my new monthly Metro card (last one at $89) and waited for a local. Off peak times you are used to waiting a while, but an E train came right up in minutes and stopped. I was waiting for the second car and thought it odd that nobody was in the first two cars. Good thing because when the doors opened they opened on the wrong side, allowing passengers to fall to the tracks below. The doors closed, the train moved on, and the E train headed south. Minutes later I got into a C train. They were acting weird as well. The driver sounded the horn incessantly from 14th Street to 4th. Some instinct told me to get out and try another train. That instinct was dead on. Got into an A train and saw the C train stopped at Spring Street, still honking. Then just north of Canal Street, we saw the still-empty E train to our right, just sitting there. I got off at Chambers and saw the E arriving at World Trade Center on the far track, still empty. I wonder what the driver was thinking.

Railway Robbery

My son's girl friend caught the train from Merrick to Babylon last weekend. Unfortunately, the ticket blew out of her hand and on to the track when train was arriving. She told her story to the train man who told her: "Too bad. That will be 9 dollars." That is six time the cost of the ticket she bought at the station. Do LIRR people wonder why people hate them?

All-time stupidity award for the LIRR

Last night I took the 5:19 train from Penn Station to Wantagh - 3 stops, with the first one being my town of Merrick. Halfway through the ride, they stopped at Jamaica for 4 of 5 minutes, like they were looking up directions. Then they made an announcement that the train would be making 4 additional stops, including St. Albans. When they approached St. Albans, the conductor told us that this station was only platformed at the first four cars, so those wanting to leave at St. Albans would have to walk up. After the stop, there was a sheepish announcement to ignore the previous story. By now it must have occurred to them that nobody would be getting off at Rockville Centre, Baldwin or Freeport because that's not where the train was going when it left Penn Station.

Train Talk

Gurdjieff once taught that humans go around their daily lives three quarters asleep. He came up with this notion even though, as far as I can tell, he never road on the Long Island Rail Road. I hate to trash talk the LIRR because some of the people who work there seem very nice, and I know they feel like they are the heroes of their own personal epic. However, their use of the English language often makes me cringe. It is not as prevalent now as it was years ago, but you occasionally here one of them announce:"Penn Station is our last and final stop," blissfully unaware of the fact that last and final are synonyms. Another night the conductor, working from some set script lectures us that large bags may be inspected by the NYPD. Too bad the train was leaving New York at the time.

However, my favorite is the use of the word "accommodate." This comes up when they cancel my 5:19 train and tell us that we will be "accommodated" by the 5:24 local train. What we are actually being is grossly inconvenienced. How I have fantasized about going to the dispatcher and giving her a piece of my mind.

Coming in this morning, they let us off at Track 12, which is below the AMTRAC waiting room. I finally got to an escalator and stepped on before I realized that it was not working that morning, just like many other mornings. I do have a helpful tip for them, If the escalator is not working, why not save electricity by turning off the recorded message of a chirpy-voiced announcer giving you instructions about how to ride an escalator. In the 59th Street subway station the recorded message reminds you that the escalators are for subway passengers only. I am 150 feet underground. How else could I be there if I was anything but a subway passenger?

Now all of the New York area is excited by the prospect of even worse service and higher fares. MTA, here is a new word for your vocabulary - MORONS.

"M" is for mystery

Got to the C&E tracks this morning at Penn Station and had to wait several minutes. Instead of a C or an E, we got an M train. It seemed to be heading south, so I got on, even though the sign on the outside said it was going to Jamaica. It is one of the new breed of subway cars that has marquee signs that tell you what station will be next. However, this morning, the marquee just flashed useless information like listen to messages from the crew. That would have been nice if the crew had been calling stops or, otherwise, telling us anything. At West 4th, a lot of us got out, and the train just sat there for several minutes. One could picture the crew looking at maps and deciding what is next. Finally, they announced that the train would move on to Spring and Canal streets. When I got out at Canal, I noticed that there was an F train on the A tracks. Welcome to MTA's Wonderful World or Reduced Service.